My personal motto is “The Bigger the Hair the Better the Girl“… as long as its on my head anywhere else is just plain annoying!! As a dark haired woman with pale skin, even before a pesky black hair pokes through my skin you can see it ready to sprout. For decades I experimented with shaving, waxing, bleaching, depilatory creams, electrolysis then LASER HAIR REMOVAL was invented. THANK YOU BEAUTY GODS!! Honestly my hairy legs could give a bloke a run for his money and I was sick of the daily maintenance!
PLUS SIZE BRAZILIAN WAXING
As a big girl, I was really worried about having anyone’s big face that close to my “little girl.” I was super embarrassed about the beauty spa ladies laughing at my plus size punani and then talking about me like that Seinfeld Episode with Elaine at the nail salon! This was not the case at all and after a 30 minutes session I was wondering why I hadn’t stripped my kitty bare years earlier. MEOWW. My size had nothing to do with getting waxed. Nothing.
If you’re in Los Angeles and want a Plus Size Brazilian Wax I highly recommend AMANDA HYDE SKIN! (She’ll probably sort out your love life while you’re there too btw). I was VERY happy with the results and booked 2 more waxes that had my kitty purring before deciding to trim the hedges permanently. This is when I decided to get lasered again.. down below.
I realise this isn’t t for everyone but it works for me, so if you’re thinking about laser hair removal on your vjay jay then do your research with your local salons curvy girls! Again, being plus size has no baring on getting lasered between your luscious legs. I also asked my aesthetician about her clientele and she all agreed that women of all sizes get waxed and zapped regularly. Thin thighs or thick thighs make no difference as these pros are getting busy with more lady bits on a daily basis. They’ll tell you when to move your leg, lift your thigh and hold up your stomach so they can get in where they need to sheer the sheep!
Here’s my personal tips:
PLUS SIZE BRAZILIAN LASER TREATMENT
SHAVE AT HOME
Sure your beauty therapist is going to get right up in your private parts but shaving your lady garden isn’t really part of the job description (especially if its the first time). They may even charge you an extra shaving fee so bring your big booty prepared. You don’t want to look like a 70s porn star in need of a serious Edward Scissorhands job! So grab that razor and shave right before your first treatment. P.S if you’re waxing this is totally different as the hair needs to be long enough to grab stick to the wax so if you’re just waxing don’t show up bald faced as they’ll send you home.
I always manage to forget this but my IPL laser lady told me to take a couple of painkillers 30 minutes before to help. I won’t lie it hurts like a b*tch but as soon as the *ZAP* is done the pain stops. In my experience the laser usually has an ice component on the head to sooth the area before they zap it. The more you get it done the less it hurts so again, just like losing your virginity the first time is the worst and won’t take long… If the pain is too much tell your laser lady you need a break! Personally, I just grit my teeth and get it over with as soon as possible. A Brazilian treatment only takes about 15 minutes.
GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST, CURVY GIRL!
Don’t wait on the comfy couches, read the magazines and text away in the waiting area before deciding to pee! You both know you’ll be dropping those plus size panties so prepare your area beforehand. These days laser appointments are booked so tightly (and sometimes in 5 minute increments) that this really puts out your beauty therapist. Remember she is the one wielding the laser next to your girly bits so be NICE to her.
Decide if you want to go completely smooth or how much hair you want to leave and in what shape. Unlike waxing, this decision is permanent so if you choose your boyfriends initials to be carved onto your coochie and then you break up, you’re left with that memory or will have to go the full monty! Sure a hairy heart is cute on your valentine’s day vagina but the first time you drop your drawers for your new man is that what you want him to see!? Just full figured ‘front fanny for thought’.
Most laser places recommend 6 treatments every 4 weeks so I always purchased mine in advance as a 6 pack deal. There’s usually a buy 5 get one free promo going or a 20% off sale. Since this is monthly you’ll need to work the appointments around your cycle. If something changes call and tell your beauty therapist and reschedule.
BABY GOT BACK
Yes, your lovely laser lady will ask you how far ‘back’ you want to go on your lady garden. I’ll leave it up to you how you handle that question but just an FYI so you don’t get taken by surprise when she asks you to flip over! I think that’s called the “Hollywood”
HOLD THE PHONE
Turn the ringer off!!! Sounds obvious but trust me, if your loud dubstep ringtone chimes while the laser is near your goodies you will know about it! Aint nobody got time for that!!