We need a male’s perspective in our plus size advice column so I’m calling on Bruce Sturgell from Chubstr to help out on the important ‘are fat girls only good for sex’ question. If you’re looking for plus size advice shoot me an e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org or DM on Facebook.
QUESTION: Why do some men treat heavy women as though we’re only good for sex & not marriage material?
KELLY’S ANSWER: The cold hard truth on this one is that some guys are embarrassed to be with plus size women. Not all, just some. When guys say fat girls are only good for sex, they are actually saying they like having sex with fat girls. Even in the put down i’m looking for the positive. It’s not the sex that is the issue it is the public perception, which is changing with the body positive movement and more prominent celebrities being seen as sexy such as Rebel Wilson and Amber Riley but some guys see plus size women as ‘less than.’
Guys using girls for sex isn’t exclusively a big girls issue either as there are also dudes who will sleep with women, keep them a secret and have no intention of a relationship or marrying them. If a guy only wants to have sex with you but isn’t interested in taking you out in public, introducing you to his family and friends then he is clearly a man you don’t want to be with. I dated a guy for two years and never met his family or friends so i’ve certainly been ‘that girl.’
Why are these guys only interested in sex with plus size women? Because they A) think fat girls are easy B) like fat girls but have issues admitting it C) are dirt bags who think plus size women are lesser. In saying this I know a lot of big girls who jump into bed with guys way too early because they want the man to stick around. Again, this happens for a lot of women, not just plus size, but the action can be flawed when it comes to long term relationships.
The quickest way to test if a man likes you for you is to NOT sleep with him and see if he bothers sticking around. Figuring out what kind of person he is before you slip between the sheets and give him a bounce with your big booty. Maybe implementing Steve Havey’s 90 Day Rule when it comes to the ‘cookie’ is a good idea?
Don’t get me wrong I know this ‘weed out the idiots by testing their ‘staying power and commitment’ approach isn’t for everyone. One night stands happen, maybe you don’t want a relationship and are just looking for action. I know a lot of women like to ‘try before they buy’ too so they know what they’re getting. It all depends on what you want and your personal feelings. I’m just saying that if the issue is that guys think and treat fat girls as only being good for sex then a way against that is to not offer it up and let them use us in that way.
I’d love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment and tell us what you think.
CHUBSTR’S ANSWER: Some people just aren’t worth your time. It’s in your best interests to surround yourself with people that are on the same page with you – who care about you in whatever way you want them to. Be clear about what you want, and if the guy in question doesn’t feel the same way, it’s probably time to move on. The world is a huge place, and there’s certainly someone out there who will share your values if you’re clear about what you want, and willing to take the time for things to happen. Being patient can sometimes be the most difficult part.~Bruce
Why do you think guys treat plus size woman as though they are only good for sex? Share your opinion in the comments.
Bruce Sturgell is the Founder of Chubstr.com, the style destination for men of many sizes. Bruce is a husband and father who believes it’s not about what you wear but rather about how it makes you feel. Big guys wanting to create personal Style should follow Chubstr on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest
Want some awesome plus size advice of your own? Pitch me your curve balls via email email@example.com or DM on Facebook.