50 Fat Dates follows my plus size dating quest to find Big Curvy Love (girlfriend’s in her thirties and looking for a man…don’t judge.) I’ve challenged myself to go on 50 dates over the course of one year and share with you my dating stories, plus size dating tips and lessons learned. If this is your first visit make sure to catch up!~Kelly
I recently presented a plus size sex and dating workshop in LA and in my research discovered that the average online dater’s profile photo is three years old. As a former yo you dieter I can tell you a lot can happen to a single girl’s profile pic in three years. What you see online isn’t always what you get in person!
The whole online dating thing can be really emotionally difficult. You have to go through such a process in finding men and figuring out if they are interested, striking up a conversation, making a date and then finally meeting them. It’s such a bloody time consuming work that if the guys end up being someone they didn’t initially appear to be it ends up being such a huge waste of time (on both parts.) I was at the point in my 50 Fat Dates quest where I needed to meet some blokes in person so I could get an instant feeling for chemistry. I’d already been speed dating and now it was time to try out a dating mixer. Granted, it is the online dating companies that put on these events but it is still IRL (in real life.)
The Friday night mixer in Hollywood seemed like a good option as it was in my neighborhood, so I planned on arriving at seven o’clock. Let me start off by saying that parking in Los Angeles is a bitch and Hollywood is especially bad. Just last week I got a $68 parking fine on a Sunday and on the same day my car was towed which cost me another $294! I’m still recovering from the financial set back and decided to take the bus instead. I needed a financial win and was also hoping for a win in the dating department too. The bus is $3 round trip which is probably cheaper than a parking meter and definitely cheaper than the $10 valet plus tip.
I was quite pleased and felt confident with my outfit; a cute short Torrid black dress with a mesh top. I’d worn this LBD before but this time added a skinny red patent leather belt. Since I knew I’d have to walk a bit I made sure to apply some chub rub before leaving the apartment, put on my flats and was ready to go. When I boarded the bus the coin shoot was broken so I saved myself $1.50 (maybe this was going to be a lucky night after all.)
The entrance to Sadie’s was around the side through the car park so I picked up my name tag at the event check in table and listed my ‘guilty pleasure’ as watching ‘TMZ’. Apparently that was the icebreaker question for the evening and we all had to to list this on our name tags instead of our name as way of an icebreaker. I was also handed half a playing card (king of clubs) and the object was to find my ‘other half.’ Again, I appreciated this as a vehicle to approach other singles. I surveyed the room and no one immediately took my fancy. Damn it! I was hoping the firefighter I’d met a couple of weeks before at one of these events (that I was working as a host) would be there but he wasn’t.
The guys all seemed nice, professional and in their late twenties to early thirties. Not one to stand back, I took the opportunity to lick stick my playing card on my forehead and look for my match. I set myself a goal to speak to at least ten guys which I did quite easily and found the man with the other half of my card. He was keen to check in with the host (as the winner gets a free drink) but as soon as he found out the drinks had already been claimed he was quick to get back to his little group.
At first I approached the men and had a chat then decided to stand back and see if any approached me. They didn’t. Was it that they had seen me work the room? That I was the only one with a card stuck to my head? Or that they simply weren’t attracted to me (as I wasn’t attracted to them.) I noticed there was only one other plus size woman in the room (it is Hollywood after all) and any conversation with the guys ended up being your typical small talk; how long have you been in LA? What do you do? I can pretty much see the exact moment when they hear my Australian accent and compartmentalize me in the friend zone then want to monopolize my time on quizzing me the dangerous animals of Australia and test out their Aussie accents.
I was pretty much wrapped up at 10pm so nicked an olive when the bartender wasn’t looking and started to walk to the bus stop. I was a little disappointed and running my to-do list through my head when I had a thong blowout. Not ‘thong’ as in underpants (although that would be an uncomfortable walk) but rather thong as in flip flop. My shoe. Bloody hell! My luck hadn’t changed after Hollywood really does hate me. I might have saved $1.50 on the bus fare and scored an awesome high end stuffed olive but my fave pair of fancy Haviana’s were buggered. This was also the moment I realized that after a certain time the buses stop running on Hollywood Blvd. Wow, just what I needed to walk with home with one barefoot after 10pm on a Friday night. The good thing is that I was in Hollywood so I certainly wasn’t he strangest person on the street but I certainly got looks of “oh look at the drunk girl without shoes and its not even midnight, she’s lame.” For the record I didn’t even have a drink at the event but I the shoeless thing was ratchet/bogan. I did feel the need to have to defend myself to a few onlookers saying “my shoe broke” and holding it up as evidence.
I finally made it down Hollywood down to Sunset and back to my apartment. I had a moment wondering what my future husband was doing at that exact moment before I unhooked my bra, cracked open a bottle of red wine and ate a hand full of Dove chocolates. I settled in on the couch and watched OWN into the wee hours. Looks like its back to the one-on-one selection of online dating for the next round. I have a few dates in the works but the planning is a lot slower than I thought. There’s still plenty of dates to go so I have a lot of hope that i’ll find Big Curvy Love by Valentines day.
QUESTION: Have you had any luck at singles mixers? Do you go in with a game plan or just have a chat with whomever you fancy?