50 Fat Dates follows my plus size dating quest to find Big Curvy Love (girlfriend’s in her thirties and looking for a man…don’t judge.) I’ve challenged myself to go on 50 dates over the course of one year and share with you my dating stories, plus size dating tips and lessons learned. If this is your first visit make sure to catch up!~Kelly
I know you’ve been waiting for the next installment of 50 Fat Dates. The truth is, I didn’t know if I should write about it but I got a lot of yes votes on Facebook so here’s what happened:
I was at the Curve Nation Plus Size Expo in Orlando hosting the plus size sex and dating workshop. My session was on Saturday afternoon and the audience started filing in the room and a guy (let’s call him Orlando) sat in the front row with a big smile. He was big, bald, nice looking and I’d previously had a chat with him in the foyer so he knew I’d be going on one of my 50 Fat Dates with an audience member. I never found out his age but assumed he was in his mid thirties like me.
Orlando took a front row seat and instantly started chiming in with smart ass comments. In case you don’t know, I was a syndicated radio presenter for 5 years, so good luck to anyone trying to out-snark me in front of a crowd! As we Aussies say: ‘Game on mole!’ Orlando didn’t wait for me to bring up 50 Fat Dates and my dating offer he straight up asked me out in front of everyone. I liked it and said “sure but it has to be tonight because I’m leaving at 5am to go back to LA.” He joked “Great, we’ll go to McDonalds!” Um, no we won’t. The audience loved the back-and-forth and Orlando quickly turned into the male ‘example’ for all my dating slides. He had a great sense of humor so I knew he was along for the ride. When the ‘Reason’s Not to Date Him’ slide came up on the screen even Orlando said “uh oh here comes Reason’s Not to Date Orlando!” Yep! It was hilarious.
I gleefully threw handfuls of condoms into the crowd like it was candy. Side note: I had to convince the doctor at the free Hollywood health clinic I was a ‘professional’ to get the maximum amount of condoms allowed per person but that’s a story for another time.) Orlando was sitting next to one of the lovely Curve Nation Expo organizers and they were cracking each other up throughout the session. I suggested the two of them should date and they just laughed. I later found out that they had dated (go figure.) Once the workshop was over I confirmed I’d meet Orlando for dinner (as long as it wasn’t McDonald’s) and went back to my hotel room for a nap before the fashion show. The travel, time change and presentation had taken it out of me and I wanted to be at my best for the date, fashion show and after party!
The fashion show was due to start at 7.30 so I figured it would be done by 8.30 and we could go to dinner afterward. As soon as I was at the door I saw Orlando: “you stood me up, what about our date? I was waiting for you!” To be honest I was still a bit sleepy and replied “What? I thought it was after the show.” Orlando said he had already eaten which left me wondering if everyone in Florida ate the early bird special like in the movies with all the retirees. “We can go after” I said feeling bad and inviting him to go with me but he said he didn’t want to watch me eat and passed. I went into the fashion show and had a front row seat. Orlando sat on opposite side of the runway and I hear someone shouting my name “Kelly, KELLY, heeeeey Kelly, Big Curvy Love, what about our date? You stood me up!” Geez, at least he could poke fun of it but I still didn’t understand why we just couldn’t go after the show. I finally understood when it wrapped up at 11pm. Orlando even ended up strutting the runway as part of the show!
I really did miscalculate the fashion show timing and it was at least 12 hours since I last ate so I ended up leaving the hotel to grab dinner at a Brazilian place across the road from the hotel. So that’s date #5; me eating alone in a restaurant at 11pm on a Saturday night. I literally slept through Date #5 and didn’t even know it. I guess I can’t really complain that I’m single if I don’t even show up!
The good news is I’m back in LA and have another date on Saturday in Hollywood. I’ve already chosen the dress and can’t wait to tell you how it goes. I promise I won’t sleep through this one!
Yours in Big Curvy Love,