I’ve learned a lot in my 50 Fat Dates quest and have a few plus size online dating tips of my own to share. This info will save you time, disappointment and annoyance while you wade through the dating pool. Before you sign up to a stack of plus size online dating sites here are a you things you need to know.
1. Posting a Profile Isn’t Enough
The, “If you build it they will come” mentality may work for baseball ghosts in Field Of Dreams but it won’t work in the plus size online dating world! You actually have to participate in order to get the IRL (in real life) dates. Once you upload your awesome profile pic and well crafted text, you’ll need check in on a regular basis and search for matches, send messages, respond to inbox messages, and organize to meet up with your dates in persona.
I know it kinda sucks and I really do wish the love at my life will show up at my doorstep but unless it’s the mailman (who in my case is actually a married woman with kids) then it’s not likely so I’ll just have to continue putting in the time and effort! Yes, Plus size online dating is a hard slog but trust me when I say I’ve done the ‘set and forget approach’ and it’s yet to work. All that happens is I get forgotten in favor of someone else who is bothering to put in the work. We all want to post our profile and have exactly the right person contact us and not have to wade through the wankers in order to find our Mr. Right. But it’s just not that easy. It takes effort but is totally worth it in the end. .
2. Prepare Yourself to Be a Player
Even though online dating is instant in many ways, it also takes a while with the time lag that often happens. You send a wink to someone and eagerly await their response. They wink back then you start to message. Instead of this being minutes or even hours in response time it could be days, depending on the commitment of the guys on the dating sites.
Online dating takes time (blerg annoying) so if you’re a one-man-at-a-time type of woman you’re in for a shocker. You’re going to have to learn to play the field for a while. Yes, girl i’m talking multiple dates with multiple men. If you’re planning on sending a message to one guy you like and waiting for him to get back to you before messaging another guy you could be waiting…and waiting…and waiting. You need to cast a wide net in your plus size online dating adventure and initiate contact with multiple suitors and mentally prepare yourself for multiple dates. I say the mentally prepare yourself part because once you start getting dates set up it can really get busy (and exhausting.) BTW just because you’re officially a plus size player doesn’t mean you’re ‘easy’ (we all know about the easy fat girl myth.) It just means you’ve got a lot to do in a little time. Get your dating average up and don’t declare exclusivity by changing your Facebook profile too soon.
3. Keep Emotions Out of it Until You Meet
This one is easy to say and hard to do. Sure, you can get caught up in plus size online dating email romance before meeting your date in person. You’re at home thinking, “OMG I just know he is the one” while updating your secret Pinterest wedding board but remember to take a second and remember this is how people end up catfished! Hold back those emotions until you’ve met face-to face. I’ve been on a few dates where I thought the guy was going to be awesome and he was NOTHING like he presented online or in his pre-date texts. You really need the in-person initial gut feeling meeting otherwise you’ll be getting all excited for nothing.
4. Who Wears the Pants in Online Dating?
I may not walk up to a guy in a bar and ask him out but I’ll certainly be happy to send a message or a wink online. Gender roles in the real world have changed but still exist but in the plus size online dating world where things are more equal. Online dating gives both sexes power to approach, interact, accept and deny. It’s not always the man that does the asking on these sites so when it comes to online dating tips for plus size women I say take advantage of the platform. The online dynamic is just a springboard for what is to come when meeting up in real life. Take advantage of this wild west in dating and put it out there and see what interest you get back. It’s just a few clicks out of your day.
5. People Lie and You’ll Have to Deal With It.
Height, income, and weight are the most common areas that people lie about when it comes to plus size online dating profiles (any any other dating profiles.) You’ll be able to figure out two of them as soon as you meet but you should try to do it beforehand. The most annoying thing is scheduling a date, getting dressed up, putting on makeup, driving to a date with expectations and then and 5 minutes in wondering what the polite amount of time is before you can leave and never see this person again. I’m all about gut feeling and good conversation but you should know that even with your pre-date questions and a bit of research you will still be lied to at some stage. It’s not just you (it’s everyone.) If I have a bad date I always make use of my outfit, hair, makeup and go do something a bit fun.
6. Don’t Give Him Enough to Google
Don’t give out any specifics on your work place so some smarty pants can figure out who you are and Google you. Just don’t give out major identifying information for a while. Share yourself and your story but do everything on your terms. Of course I’d always suggest to Google him.
7. Stranger Danger
I watch way too many CSI shows to meet anywhere other than a public place, with my cell phone, and a friend knowing where I am. Yes, I will go to the bathroom and text my friend I am okay. You should too.
What are your plus size online dating tips? Share in the comments below!