This is my first OKCupid date. I’d been receiving a lot of weird messages online so when this one landed in my inbox I appreciated the change. Granted, I realize this is a stock message that Sam sends to many women but it is so much better than ‘hi’ or ‘you’re cute’ that I decided to respond to his suggestion.
A friend had commented that my 50 Fat Dates project had started looking like the United Nations since I date so many different types of guys. What can I say? I’m open to finding love! Sam is a 5’6″ Indian guy who works in IT, has a doctorate and spent years working for the UN in a number of countries. He’s well traveled and has been to more than 3o countries, is fluent in quite a few languages and is overall a highly intelligent guy.
Before we get to the date I want to chat with you about indecisiveness. It is a turn off for me as I like a man to make a decision and stick to it. There was a lot of back and forth using the OKCupid chat on deciding where to go for the date. I’m simply not that fussed. It’s a first date not a silver wedding anniversary so I’m happy to meet up for a drink or coffee anywhere. I just want to set up a date, time and location and go from there. If there’s a nicer place or a line then we can go to the bar or coffee shop next door. It’s not that hard!
My last relationship was three years and I pretty much had to do all the deciding and ‘managing’ so I love it when a man says “how about 6pm Saturday at BW3s?” Great! For me it’s not the place, the drinks or the food, I just want to meet the person and see what in-person chemistry is like. Texting and phone conversations aren’t a true gauge. It’s all about the face-to-face meeting.
I’d already been stood up by date #9 earlier in the day so was at least hoping this Sam would front. Since his profile pic was of him skydiving I was hoping for a guy with a bit of a sense of adventure rather than the stereotype Indian IT genius. He is actually a really lovely and super intelligent man but he could also easily fit in with the cast of The Big Bag Theory. The fact that the date was in Pasadena and that he worked for CalTech (same as the Big Bang guys) meant the similarity wasn’t lost on me.
The other thing was that this date was at a bar where they have those high stools. Yes, it’s a fat girl problem but it’s also a short girl problem. I’m only 5’3″ and I had to climb up and try not to look like a baby elephant in the process. Once I’d launched my big booty onto the bar stool I had to pull myself up every 15 minutes or i’d slip off. It would have been easier for me to just stand up but I didn’t want to spoil the date.
I think we all know there wasn’t going to be a big bang in the romantic department. Actually, I’m pretty sure the only reason Sam wanted to see me again and go on another date was because I’m easy to chat with (have a great personality, clearly) and he’s looking for friends in a new city.
As a highly intelligent polite nice guy with a great job who i’m sure he’ll make some equally nice girl really happy. I am not that girl and I am not on a quest to make more friends. I’m on a mission to find Big Curvy Love. On this occasion there was (and will be) no bang!
50 Fat Dates Recap
What I wore: The same pink dress from date #9 (why waste a good outfit, makeup and hair?)
What he wore: White polo shirt and jeans
Where we met: Out the front of the Mac store and walked to a tapas bar in Pasadena.
What we drank: Heinekin
We chatted about: how to fix my laptop, travel, living in the USA, family backgrounds
The date lasted: Two drinks
The date ended: After a polite amount of time
Did he ask me out & would I date him again? Yes, he asked me out again to a winery but there was just no chemistry. I know he was just lonely and looking for friends.
What I learned: I really need to stop sitting on high bar stools!