Date #13 Menage a Trois Part 2

By in
0 0 0 One comment
0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Pin It Share 0 Google+ 0 Email -- Filament.io Made with Flare More Info'> 0 Flares ×

50 fat datesI left this date with more questions than I arrived with. Nekko is 42  years old and originally from Central America. He works at a surf shop in Santa Monica as well as for the school district and spends his spare time painting.  I was expecting to go on a date with both Nekko and his girlfriend Rachel but about 2 hours before we were due to meet he texted me and said she had a family emergency and wasn’t able to make it. If you’ve been following along on the 50 Fat Dates quest you’ll understand this is a threesome date. If this all is a bit shocking (as it was to me)  then you should catch up on Date #13 Part 1.

So, was it a red flag that Rachel wasn’t coming on the date? I thought so and offered to reschedule but Nekko wanted to go ahead as planned. I wondered if I was being interviewed by him first to see then if he liked me I’d make it to a second round interview with the both of them. Even though she wasn’t physically there I still felt like the third wheel.

The other thing that I thought was a slightly weird was when he texted me a pic from my online profile and asked me to wear that exact outfit because. This request kind of put me off. I’ve had other dates ask me to send them photos and I always say no. No one has requested a specific outfit so far. I probably would have gone along with it but the dress he wanted to see me was a Gwynnie Bee plus size rental that I had already returned.

I plugged $6 into the parking meter for 3 hours and texted my friend to tell her the address and what time I expected to be back at my car. This is by far the most unusual date i’d been on so I wanted to make sure I felt safe. Nekko had ridden his bike to the date and was already waiting for me outside the bar watching the salsa dancers. Even though he wasn’t facing me, I recognised his  long curly hair from behind. He was wearing cargo pants, a t-shirt, sneakers and gave off the Santa Monica chill surfer type vibe.

He didn’t look too impressed when he saw me for the first time so I wondered if he was disappointed in how I looked. I always make sure my online dating pics are recent and a proper representation of who I am so I was a bit confused by his reaction. As the date progressed I came to realise it was him as he pretty much was void of facial expressions. The man would literally wink at me and say “I really love your personality” without any expression on his face. Weird. Overall I found him a very difficult person to read.

It was 7pm and our rendezvous didn’t really feel like a dinner date so I ordered a happy hour cocktail and he ordered a beer and some nachos. It was 2-for-1 drinks and the bar was really crowded and had the football playing. Since this wasn’t the usual first date I had to ask the difficult questions up front. I could tell he was uncomfortable with some of the discussion in such a public loud place but it had to be done and he was the one who chose the location.

Nekko always referred to Rachel as his ‘girlfriend’ and said they had been together for a few months. I was actually surprised that they were looking for a third so early on but this is not my area of expertise or experience so I guess it could be usual? She lived in Long Beach and worked as a teacher so could only see him once a week. Apparently Friday was ‘their night.’ The way that he said it reminded me of the way the women in Sisterwives refer to ‘their night’ with the husband. I wondered if she was more ‘available’ and geographically closer if he would still be looking for another person. I should have asked but I was walking a fine line of asking too many questions and being polite. It seemed more like a ‘getting to know you’ scenario than working out logistics.  I was very clear that I had never done ‘this kind of thing’ before and he was really understanding.

He reinforced that he was in an ‘open relationship’ and that Rachel was his girlfriend and that I would be brought in for ‘both’ of them. I wondered how the discussion between the two of them came up and if it was him or her who initiated. I asked if they were looking for people other than myself but he said they were just looking for one as more that three would be ‘too complicated.’

During our date he got a text from Rachel and she asked him to take a photo of the two of us.  I joked “so she knows I’m a real person and actually look like my photo?” He laughed and  leaned in to take the selfie.  She immediately texted back saying, “You two are so cute, have fun!” Since his phone was out he showed me some of his artworks, which included female nudes of Rachel. My mind flickered to the Titanic movie with Kate Winslett being painted by Leonardo DiCaprio before I snapped back to reality and noticed him looking at my upper arms. I actually noticed this a few times throughout the date and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I’ve become a bit self-conscious about that area recently.

He asked if I wanted to go see a comedy show but I was more interested in chatting as there was a lot I was still unclear about. I always think its weird when people want to go on a date to a movie or a show and not talk when it’s the first time meeting. I’m not going to be able to get to know you better if we’re sitting in silence.

The evening was winding up and I knew I’d reached the limit of questions and that he was uncomfortable answering them in such a public space (or maybe at all.) Without facial expressions it was hard to tell. I found it difficult to make a connection with Nekko and really did feel like the third wheel even though only two of us were physically present on the date. I knew that this would be what it would be like in practice too and I knew it wasn’t for me.

He offered to walk me down the promenade back to my car. I hugged him goodbye and it felt really awkward. Was he trying to bite my neck? He did some weird thing with his face then asked for a kiss. I just laughed it off and he started talking in detail about his schedule and when we could meet up again. “Rachel is really going to like you.” he said. “I can’t wait for us all to meet together.” I just don’t think I have it in me. Looks like it’s on to date #14 on my plus size dating quest.

50 Fat Dates Recap

What I Wore: Vintage wrap dress

What he wore: Cargo pants, t-shirt and backpack. 

Where we met: Carbo Cantina on Santa Monica 3rd Street promenade

What we drank: 2 for 1 happy hour drinks. I had a coconut margarita  he had beer. 

We chatted about: Art, soccer, the beach, living in Los Angeles, and his girlfriend. 

The date lasted:  1hr 40 mins 

The date ended: I said my parking meter time was up. 

Did he ask me out & would I date him again? Yes. He wants to meet me with his girlfriend. 

What I learned: I’m definitely not a ménage à trois 3rd wheel kinda gal

Next Date: TBA

Kelly Glover is an Australian living in Los Angeles and created this plus size fashion blog as a place for curvy women to get info and advice on plus size dating, celebrity and fitness. contact@bigcurvylove.com
  1. Reply

    This was a hilarious read! I follow you on Twitter and wanted to read more about your 50 Fat Dates and I was not disappointed! You are super brave to have even accepted that invitation. I would have been freaked out lol Hope you have more dates in the queue because this is an awesome idea :)

Leave a Comment

Plus size dating

Sign Up to theNewsletter

Fancy a love note arriving in your inbox? Sign up and don't miss a thing! 

Kelly xoxox

Kisses! You have subscribed xoxox

0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 Pin It Share 0 Google+ 0 Email -- Filament.io 0 Flares ×
%d bloggers like this: