50 Fat Dates follows my plus size dating quest to find Big Curvy Love (girlfriend’s in her thirties and looking for a man…don’t judge.) I’ve challenged myself to go on 50 dates over the course of one year and share with you my dating stories, plus size dating tips and lessons learned. If this is your first visit make sure to catch up!~Kelly
The Lumbersexual’s initial date suggestion was to go to a hookah bar but as non-smoker I passed. We ended up meeting at Fat Sal’s in Hollywood. The irony of him choosing a place with the word ‘fat’ in the title wasn’t lost on me but I liked that he was oblivious.
He showed up driving a ‘picture car’ for the movie he was shooting and to be honest I had forgotten exactly what the lumbersexual looked like. It happens a lot. I meet someone then can’t quite remember the details of their face and hope I recognize them again when I see them.
Last time we met he was wearing a hat so I was surprised to see he had shoulder length blond hair and bright blue eyes. He looked so much like Jeff Daniels I wondered if he might actually be his son; however, I remembered that the Lumbersexual grew up in Iowa in a town of less than 2,000 people so the likelihood of a Hollywood dad was slim.
Speaking of, at 6’5″ he was also much much taller than I remember and I had to reach on my tippy toes to greet him with a hug. He was wearing the same jeans as when we first met but instead of the red and black check shirt wore a faded t-shirt.
He ordered food and we got chatting about how he’s been in Los Angeles for about 4 months and lived in NYC before that. I quickly realized he was less hipster lumbersexual and more midwestern lumberjack. He mentioned he has been out of college for 4 years so i’m guessing he’s around 27, which is a decade younger than me. Either he didn’t know my age or didn’t care of the decade gap.
After sitting on the tall stools at Fat Sal’s for about an hour my bum was seriously sore and I had to jump down and stand for the rest of the date. I’ve spoken previously about the hazards of big booty and the restaurant booths on dates and I’d like to add tall bar stools to the list of annoyances for short girls with big bums. Firstly, they are difficult to get up on in an elegant way and then once you are up on your legs are way too short to rest on anything so it’s just uncomfortable.
The conversation was about Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, travelling Europe, living in NYC, and a full recap of his time living and working in NYC. During all this I couldn’t take my eyes off the food stuck in his ginger beard. I don’t have much experience dating men who looking like vikings with long scraggly bears and wasn’t sure if I should say something so I chose to be silent and continue to stare at the crumbs bouncing around as he spoke.
Was the lumbersexual nice? Yes. Was there a spark? No. As he was leaving to go to the movie set he asked if I wanted to meet up later that night. In my heart I knew there was nothing there so I politely declined in favor of working and reached up to give him a hug and said goodbye. I haven’t heard from him since so it looks like i’m moving on to date #9.