I always wanted to elope and get married in a small intimate ceremony on a tropical island. Sure, I had the fantasy wedding scenario all figured out (and a secret Pinterest board to prove it) but I hadn’t spent any time wondering about how the actual proposal might happen.
If this story I’m about to tell you isn’t the biggest lesson in “be careful what you wish for,” then I really don’t know what is. I guess I should have been specific in my request for a husband and HOW the marriage proposal should happen rather than simply just wishing for a proposal. This weekend I finally got what I hadn’t really been asking for.
Yeah, I got proposed to via Facebook PM. It just came out of nowhere and I was completely shocked. You might think for a moment, “Wow this could be like that the movie Greencard starring Gerard Depardieau where your life suddenly turns into one big set of romantic comedy montage moments.” Yes, that would be great (who doesn’t love a Rom Com montage) but even though the guy sending me this inbox message is attractive, well spoken, intelligent and works for an airline, the one big thing is that he is gay! Let me put it this way, he’s as camp as a row of tents and if we ever had to do a visa interview there is no way he’d pass for straight at the immigration office.
The whole “will you marry me so I can get my own place to shag guys because its illegal in Dubai and I don’t want to live in staff accommodation anymore” isn’t exactly at the top of my list on reasons why I want to get married. A quick registry wedding in your lunch break just isn’t my cup of tea. You may as well rock up in a pair of sweat pants and walk down the aisle with a plastic cactus in your hands.
Seriously WTF on the Facebook message itself. I’ve had more loving messages asking me to pick up a loaf of bread from the shops. I’ve known this guy for thirty years and that’s how little he thinks of me? I was really hurt that he thinks selling my ‘marriage’ is worth the price of an airline discount. This marriage of convenience is clearly only convenient for him. I’d rather not have to explain to people for the rest of my life why I’m a divorcee to a gay flight attendant who wanted to move out of share accommodation. There’s not way I’m having that on my permanent dating record.
When it comes to life (and dating) be careful what you wish for as you just might get it.