Date #18: Mr. Beverly Hills

50-fat-dates

I’ve never gone for a drink with someone who asked me out from a moving vehicle (hello stranger danger) but since I haven’t been on a date in months I felt like I owed you a solid 50 Fat Dates story.

LA Podfest had ended and I was feeling cheerful after a fantastic happy hour in Beverly Hills. As I walked to my car in the Beverly Center parking lot, a shiny black SUV rolled up beside me and a sexy man said “hi.” I live in LA, have  booty for days so this happens a lot. As usual I said hi back and smiled thinking that would be the end of it and he would roll on by. Wrong. He kept driving slowly and chit-chatted with me while I walked and asked me out for a drink. I was tired after a days work, still jet lagged, and wearing a branded bright pink t-shirt and black skirt from Target with flats and my hair in a pony tail. I wasn’t feeling my best. He on the other hand looked like the pic above.

In my whole life I’ve never accepted a drive by date but this time said yes. He parked and we walked back to the Sofitel where I knew the conference was still happening (safety first.)

As he ordered a Long Island Ice Tea for himself and a Moscow Mule for me he pulled out a wad of hundreds from his pocket baller style. “Oh God, he’s a drug dealer” I thought. I’m living Breaking Bad but this guy has style and a watch worth more than a years rent.

He mentioned he lives between NYC and Atlanta and travels a lot for work. I wondered if ‘travels a lot for work’ was code for having a girl at every city.  I mean he picked me up from a parking lot and was obviously looking for a one night stand. However, in my defense, the last guy who chased me out of a Hollywood bar ended up as my boyfriend of 3 years.

The conversation over drinks was interesting and I really liked him a lot. He was sexy, charismatic, well spoken, well traveled, funny and just a amazing person.  At 38 with no kids and not married he was a freaking unicorn!  He was the whole package. I did wonder about his package but was still skeptical.

Just like the shiny black SUV, the offers started rolling in as he got closer on the couch. He wanted to fly me to NYC next weekend and take me shopping. Did he somehow think I was a hooker with a heart of gold a la Pretty Woman? If he thought he was taking me to some high-end 5th Avenue store for a shopping spree movie montage then I’d need to shatter that dream quick with a dose of Layne Bryant, Torrid, or City Chic.

Then he mentioned ‘taking care’ of my LA rent. Was this a sugar daddy arrangement?  The offer might have been creepy but he wasn’t. I felt like I was in 50 Shades of Grey without the red room. Oh God. Let me be the fat Anastasia and him the black Christian Grey. What exactly was he offering? What did he want me to do? This is a lot of game if all he wants is a one night stand.

We finished our drinks and he invited me to watch his cousin in a stand up show but I declined. He walked me back to my car and tried to kiss me but I pulled away.  He gave me his number and I drove back to Hollywood. As soon as I was in my apartment I did what any conscientious dater would do and Googled the crap out of him.  Harvard Business School, CFO of multi-million dollar company. He’s s 55 not 38 (Okay I can deal with that).  Then I saw it in one of his bios “X is married to X, his wife of nearly 30 years, and has three children.” 

I immediately though, “Maybe they are divorced, maybe he’s widowed” before snapping out of it and knowing he’s just a liar looking for a one night stand.  I texted him and instead of arranging breakfast passed along my regards to his wife and 3 kids.  Yup, no response there (shocker).

There was something absolutely charming and magnetic about this man. If he actually was who he presented himself as he would be the love of my life. Unfortunately, it’s all ballers, SUVs, and cocktails. Looks like 50 Fat Dates won’t be retiring just yet.

Podcast 014: Plus Size Dating w/ Cupid Cupid Course Creator Krista Niles

I’m single and have been on a quest to go on my 50 Fat Dates and share my personal experience.

This episode of the Big Curvy Love podcast we chat with Krista Niles who is a therapist and dating coach. By day she runs a psychotherapy practice in Oakland and by night has been working on launching the Curvy Cupid Course, which is an is an online dating e-course for plus size women.

 

70% of Americans are overweight. If you are in the dating pool then 7 out of 10 people are fat. You are more than likely going to date a fat person.

 

Main Questions Asked

  • Is your advice based on personal experience or purely psychology based?
  • What is deliberate dating?
  • Why is OK Cupid the best dating site for plus size women?
  • What are common plus size dating mistakes people make?
  • What are some of your “10 proven body positive techniques for dating at any size?
  • “Everything you’ve heard about plus size dating is wrong” what’s that all about?” 

Resources Mentioned 

Curvy Cupid Course teaches the skills needed for successful dating at any size an affordable alternative to psychotherapy.

Now Is the Best Time Ever to Date as a Fat Chick

Dating is difficult. I sometimes get caught up in focusing on all the negatives instead of acknowledging the fact that now really is the best time ever to date as a curvy girl.

Fat chicks have been the flavor of the month for a few years especially since the body positive movement has grown and real life content creators have become more accessible through blogging and YouTube. The mainstream media is showcasing celebrities such as Tess Holliday, Rebel Wilson, Gabourey Sidibe, Melissa McCarthy, and Amber Riley on the cover of magazines, in network TV shows, and hosting awards shows. I know a lot of people say we aren’t where we should be but I’m looking at how far we’ve come since I was a kid when my only role model was Roseanne.

More and more we are being shown as successful and desirable. We also have plus size fashion bloggers such as Chastity Garner, Marie Denee, Sarah Rae Vargas, CeCe Olisa, Alison Teng, and Gabi Fresh repressing us everyday women by showing their confident fashion and entrepreneurial business sense. For me this offers a “wow they are so fabulous” mentality and “I can be too.”

I know a lot of people complain about the state of plus size fashion but I truly feel that mindset and comments is such a slap in the face to brands who are offering up great clothes. At size 24 I certainly have more styles to wear now than I did when I was a size 16 in high school. Torrid, City Chic, Mod Cloth, and Gwynnie Bee amongst others just didn’t exist or offer what they do today. What we have on offer is amazing and I’m so happy to have access.

My point is that as a plus size women today we are seen a more positive light than at any other time and have access to current fashion trends in our size. We are also living in a time where online dating is part of everyday life, which affords us on-demand options and be active in our dating pursuits.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of the positives instead of focusing on the negatives and I wanted to share with you too!

P.S  70% of Americans are overweight. If you are in the dating pool then 7 out of 10 people are fat. You are more than likely going to date a fat person. Those people who choose only to date a slim person are limiting themselves to dating 30% of the dating pool. In which case. Good luck!!!

P.P. S As long as you use a legit current photo of yourself you’ll be fine!

Do you agree? Is this the best time in history to be dating as a curvy woman?

Date #17 The Plumber

50 Fat Dates: The Plumber

I always say you have to ‘get out there’ because a man isn’t going to come knocking at your door. Well, I may have to eat my words on that because today a man literally knocked on my door! I just arrived back in LA after spending a month in Australia and things weren’t going well. Virgin Australia wasn’t letting me on my flight, when I finally got to LA my car wouldn’t start, then my toilet started gurgling stinky swamp water. I was waiting at the bus stop to go to Pep Boys to pick up my car when the plumber called saying he was on his way.

Turns out Eduardo the plumber was friendly and worked well with a hose (yeah I went there LOL.) The swampy toilet water issue was bigger than expected and he worked on it for more than two hours. He was all sweaty and all I could offer him was an Angry Orchid apple cider. Since i’d been out of the country for a month I had no food and I couldn’t offer him tap water considering the potential swamp factor. He finally finished up and offered me a ride to Hollywood & Vine as it was on the way to his next job. His van smelled like a the aftershave section in the department store. So nice!

We chatted for a while and it turns out Eduardo is a budding real estate mogul. He owns a house in Culver City and is looking to buy an apartment block next year. Good for him! I love a man with entrepreneurial spirit and an early eye on retirement and wealth building.

Eduardo had told me about his mechanic Oscar, so I gave him my card to contact me with Oscars details and said I’d send him some great real estate podcasts to listen to. I hadn’t even arrived home when I got a call and a voice mail from him.

Who says you can’t have a date literally show up at your door? What a great welcome back to LA.

 

50 Fat Dates Recap 

My Outfit: Dress via Gwynnie Bee

His Outfit: Dark blue plumber uniform.

Meeting Place:  My Hollywood apartment

Beverages: Angry Orchid apple cider from my fridge.

The Conversation: Toilets, pipes, tree roots, swamp smell, real estate and fixing cars.

The date lasted: 2.5 hours

The date ended: When he dropped me off at Pep Boys.

Second Date? He called and left a voicemail. I need to call him back.

What is this Cowboy’s Ideal Date?

READER SUBMISSION:

I’m currently in a relationship but I remember the trials and tribulations of dating. The following tale is not mine but that of a co-worker and not for the faint of heart ;)

She lives in a rural area of Arizona where the dating opportunities are scarce. She’s a single mom and took a job working for our company at an outlying office because she thought it would be a good place to raise her daughter. Once she realized that dating anyone from the immediate area would be tough she decided to try online dating. She received a lovely message from one guy and they began communicating. Apparently the site they were on had you send information back and forth such as likes and dislikes, hobbies, interests and your ideal date. She received the message from him that described his ideal date and this is what it said:

My ideal date would be to take a horseback ride out in the country to watch the sunset and…a bl*wjob.

Needless to say she never wrote him back!

Submitted by: Melinda@curvykarmashop

Share Your Plus Size Dating Stories 

Would you like your story featured on Big Curvy Love? Share your dating stories (the good and the bad), how you met your significant other and anything else that in the dating and romance world!  Email contact@bigcurvylove.com or PM me on FB.